Another Conversation Overheard On A Golf Course

Three ladies come in for a tee time and they are 10 minutes late. They are oblivious to the fact that they are late and that there is anyone else on the golf course, in the clubhouse, or apparently on the planet.

They are chattering like hens on crack the entire time only breaking long enough to hand me their credit cards to pay for their rounds.... 

 and then one leans over with a plastic bag filled with liquid and asks.... 

"do you think you could put my breast milk in the cooler while we golf... 
it is just so hot in the car."    

"Um.   No."

Conversations overheard

Conversations to be endured while working with the public that would not necessarily occur while working as a Deputy Probation Officer.  (Well.. might occur but the outcome would surely be different.)

4 Golfers fresh out of church.

Me:  Ok guys I need your first names.
Man 1: Ivan
Me: and yours?
Man 2: Fred
Me: yours?
Man 3: Peter
and then as Man 4 was talking I turned to Ivan and said what is his name.. pointing to Man 4.
Ivan:  Vagina
Me:  Really Ivan? And how do you spell that?