Three ladies come in for a tee time and they are 10 minutes late. They are oblivious to the fact that they are late and that there is anyone else on the golf course, in the clubhouse, or apparently on the planet.
They are chattering like hens on crack the entire time only breaking long enough to hand me their credit cards to pay for their rounds....
and then one leans over with a plastic bag filled with liquid and asks....
"do you think you could put my breast milk in the cooler while we golf... it is just so hot in the car."
As I mentioned previously the sun finally decided to make an appearance and we have been enjoying having the golfers return. It has been nice and steady for the most part with a tournament here, a birthday party there, and a bachelor party thrown in now and then just for spice. Yikes.
Bachelor parties are ...
fun.
Not really.
So. Anyway.
During the 4th of July weekend the neighboring town Molalla has a rodeo.
The Molalla Buckaroo - a PRCA (Professional Rodeo Cowboy Association) Rodeo. Molalla has been hosting this rodeo since 1913 and it attracts many visitors from all over. As far as the golf play during rodeo weekend, the rumor we heard was that the golf course always gets a ton of cowboys and they drink, get rowdy, and wear their cowboyboots on the course which tears up the greens etc. So as the weekend loomed closer we were ready for them.
So I get a call for a tee time from a fellow named Justin McBride. The fellow had one hell of an accent... He sounded like a real live and true Okie... (my Mama is an Okie so I can say that, ask her to say chimpanzee sometime.)
While I had him on the phone I asked... "Are you guys here for the rodeo?"
"Oh yes ma'am" he says, "we sure are .. we are playin' out there both nights."
(I kinda did not pay attention to his saying he was playing) and I said "I got one thing I want to tell ya..."
He said "whats that Ma'am?"
I said.. "Don't wear your cowboyboots out here. They tear up the greens."
He chuckled and said.. "oh no ma'am.. we got regular shoes and everythin'. But we will need clubs and carts if that is alright."
So I don't give it a second thought. The following day as this Justin fellow's tee time draws near I am standing at the register looking out over the first tee box when I notice out of the corner of my eye a big shiny black limousine sliding into our parking lot.
Um.
And a group of folks gets out.. 3 fellows and a pretty gal. They were dressed nice... got their clubs and carts and had a great time. There was one man who had golfed before and he was kinda teaching the other two younger (and rather handsome I might add) fellows how to golf. The gal rode in the cart along with them and did not play. Heck... I am embarrassed to say now that I even carded them for our crappy old carts like David suggested just in case. When I took their driver's license information I noted Nashville, Tennessee on one license and Alabama on the other. I said "Wow. You are a long way from home." The young man from Alabama smiled and said with a wonderful slow southern drawl "Yes Ma'am I am." They went on out and played their 9 holes and while they were gone I looked up the Molalla Rodeo information and found out that Justin McBride and the band were headlining at the rodeo all three nights.
So.... when they were done the limousine magically reappeared in the lot again and was waiting for them as they walked up the hill back towards the clubhouse. They had such a good time they made another tee time for the next day... and again for the next day. They were very nice folks, and yes... they had regular shoes to golf in. Geez.
Newest Album
After they left that first day we were telling one of our regular golfers named Max the story. David just happens to mention to Max that Justin McBride was here and we figured out they were the band that was playing at the rodeo.
But Max really knew who he was and that we only had part of the story.
Max said Justin was an old friend from his rodeo days and he hoped to get a chance to say hi to him and planned to show up the next day to see if he could catch him. You see, Max (who did his share of Professional Bull Riding in his past) said that Justin won several Pro Bull Rider championships before and while he is retired from the Bull Riding circuit now, he "sings like a bird".
Well, that was enough. Inquiring minds want to know.
So.... to the Batcave Robin to check the internet!:
Here he is on the Professional Bull Riders website, and from his own page on his bull riding career. Apparently, Justin holds the records for numbers of wins in a single year.... as well as the largest purse in a year.... and the largest purse for a single ride.
For an 8 second ride on a bull named 'Scene of the Crash' Justin won $200,000.
Watch him tie himself onto that beast. Holy Smokes.
Justin has since retired from bull riding and is focused on singing.
Here is his personal/music website: Justin McBride and here is a photo of him at
the American Country Music Awards:
Well... pretty exciting for us and like I said... they were a super nice bunch of folks who I think enjoyed themselves out on the course. I can tell you one thing for sure though... he does this:
much better than he does this:
*Just teasin!*
We'll just have to give him a little time...
I think maybe he and his band-mates might have caught the golfing bug so who knows. After their first tee time one of the guys went back to where he was staying and swung the club about 100 times. He came in the next day and showed me the blister on his thumb... AND he ended up shaving 13 points off his score from the day before. I know he is hooked, and maybe Justin will be too. Maybe he will build himself a driving range/putting green out on his ranch and pass the addiction on to his other friends as well.
Man: I would like to make a tee time for 7:00 pm. David: Oh I am sorry the last tee time is at 6:00 pm. Having the last tee time at 6:00 pm gives you time to finish the course in plenty of time before we lock the gate at 8:30. Man: What!! I said I want a tee time at 7:00 tonight! I golf there all the time! David: I am sorry. There are no tee times at 7:00. We are closed. Man: THAT'S BULLSHIT! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I AM NEVER GOING TO GOLF THERE AGAIN! David: Oh... ::shrugs even though this is a phone conversation:: Ok. So do you want the phone number for the golf course up the road? Man: ARG! -hangs up-
The sun peaks out a bit yesterday morning and the course phone rings. An older man was on the other end of the line and he sounded like Alfred Hitchcock without the British accent. He said, "I have sort of a strrrange requessst." I said, "Yes? How can I help you, would you like me to book you a tee time?" He breathed in deeply and responded, "Well no, I was actually looking for the telephone number for Evergreen Golf Course and am unable to locate it. I wondered if by chance you happened to have it?" (Evergreen is one of our competitors) I said rather nicely I thought, "Oh no I don't, I am very sorry. I don't keep a list of the local courses phone numbers on hand."
But then get this! The dude copped a 'tude with me about it!
He said in a sarcastic tone, "Oh.. reallllly? Hmph. I will remember that." Now... that last bit of rude-ballsy-smartassness was just a hair past my limit. I said "Good... you do that" and hung up.
I am such a help to David.
Later that morning I had to do some shopping and first went to Tar-jay. (For those who don't speak french that is Target.) After I finished I loaded up the truck and sat there for a minute drinking some water. A few cars across from me and down a couple rows there was a young mother in the process of unloading her little children so that she could go inside herself. It took her a good 20 minutes and made me tired just watching her. She got the baby backpack harness on adjusting it all right, got the stroller out and unpacked and unfolded it. She then went back around and got the 8-ish month old girl out of her baby chair and then took a bit to wrangle her into the backpack. I was smiling to myself as the little girl was dressed so cutely with a little elastic band and bow around her head and she was just kinda looking around dazed as her Mama got her all situated.
Next she goes to the other side of the car and helps a 3-ish year old boy out. He is talking the entire time and again I giggle. She is talking to him as well and she gets him in the stroller and is just about to finish and FINALLY go in to START her shopping. I smile to myself and think "the poor woman, I bet she is pretty damn tired at the end of the day." Then while still talking to the boy she turns quickly back to the car and grabs a little box of goodies or a toy or something and turns back and JAMS it at him into the stroller. To be fair... I did not see where exactly she angrily jammed that box. However, it was into the seat part where the child was sitting. Had she shoved it at an adult like that she might have gotten the box shoved right back in her face. This shove was hard enough I went from smiling at the scene to saying out loud inside my truck, 'what the hell?..." and opened my car door to see if it was going to continue. The mother then took a deep breath, blinked a couple times, probably counted to three, and then.. looked around to see if anyone saw what she had done.
She saw me staring at her and quickly looked away. She continued talking to the boy and looked like she was feeling a bit better... and she was behaving better... but I watched until she was finished and headed towards the store.
Oh dear.
Take a deep breath Mama, you have a long way to go. Just wait until he is 14 years old and 6 feet tall and tells you that you are ruining his life and you don't have a clue and everyone else in his class has a tattoo, drinks wine, and smokes!
After leaving Tar-Jay I treated myself to a Whole Foods shopping trip. We needed some veggies and it was close by so what the heck. Whole Foods is wildly expensive but I was only after sale veggies and a couple of kitchen staples and its a fun place to wander the isles. Before starting my shopping I visited the restroom (now don't be embarrassed by that please, I am sure you have been there once or twice) and while in there I heard two young sisters come in. I would guess one was 7 and the other close to 4 years old. The younger one just chattered and chattered the whole time and the older one was taking good care of the younger one. Big Sis was very much in charge, and was being a very good sister. In case you did not know, Whole Foods bathrooms are equipped with very loud and I am sure eco-efficient automatic flushing toilets. The girls finished and the toilet went SWOOSH.. but all I could hear was the little girl hollering "WOW! WOW! WOW!" She was pretty impressed with that... I was surprised it did not pull her down inside and shoot her out to sea somewhere to swim with the not-so-mercury free dolphins.
And now for completely unrelated golf news:
One of our long gone snow bird golfers is back for the year.. well for the summer anyway. His name is Von. That's a good sign, it means summer must be coming and we were very glad to see him. Von goes to Arizona for the winter, golfs like mad down there, and then comes back to golf with us with a couple of friends. One of his golfing partners here in Mulino is named Al.
Al has been golfing here for more than a few years and he is 95 years old. His golf buddies call him Big Al and Big Al walks the course while he plays. No golf cart for him! Al claims that when he can not walk the course anymore he will be done with golfing. I hope not. We love to see him.
Von said he gave Al a call as soon as he got back into town and we were pleased to hear he got a answering machine. Phew... that is probably a good sign. Von was worried he might have 'kicked the bucket' as a lot of other snowbirds friends of his in Arizona seemed to have done this last winter.
If it had been disconnected we all would have been worried. Hope to see that crew golfing out here very soon.
Well... we are just about done with this winter business... as the winter is causing very little business. Oregon golfers might not mind a little rain so much but they definitely don't like the cold rain.
According to the old and young timers this is the coldest and wettest winter folks can remember in many years. So it has been a little too quiet here at the course.
We are hoping that the old adage "in like a lion out like a lamb" or visa versa will stand true for us. It seems to us like March has definitely rolled in like a lion...
First rain,
Then frost... and rain,
Then snow... and rain,
then rain again and then just the other day a wind storm that we actually heard coming from Salem.
The wind roared across the feilds of the Willamette Valley from the southwest towards us here like a train and swept through the course twisting giant limbs and uprooting trees that could not keep their feet in the mud any longer. One of my favorites went down... there were three dogwoods right at the entry of the course and that wind just snapped one off at the base as it roared by.
Here is just few looks at what it left behind... David and Adam have their work cut out for them today clearing the trees off the paths and cutting the remnants into firewood. Well, mostly David. Not sure where Adam wandered off to so conveniently. No matter... once David found a chain saw that worked he wandered off to do the Paul Bunyan thing.
Needless perhaps to say, we are ready for the lamb part of this month as well as the time change, St. Patty's Day, and the vernal equinox.
We will be pulling out all the stops to welcome spring back as well as the golfers hopefully with warm and dry arms.
It is going to be a sunny day so people will be coming early. We eat an egg or two and then start our morning. David, of course, has mowing to do. Like 5 different kinds of mowing on 5 different machines or some crazy thing. Much of this has to be done before the golfers arrive. Most every day. So... he leaves before we do.
I sit and enjoy my chocolate hazelnut agave half and half with a little coffee in it. That is.. I enjoy it until we get a call that there are large bird type creatures floating willy nilly up and down the creek... completely disregarding our rules about no geese.
Delta and I are the 'No Geese Allowed Enforcers.' I pull my hair into a pony tail, toss on a cap, put the sig in the holster (kidding) and get Delta. It is time for our part of the morning to begin. We head out of our little trailer home to one of the shops to get one of the work club carts.
I get updated via radio (nextel walkie talkie cell phone thing) where these intruders are located. Delta hops in the back of the club cart and off we go.
As we get close we hear them... the foolish creatures are silly enough to be going for a stroll on land. Land is Delta the Predator's domain. I stop the cart and Delta takes off like a shot. She really is magnificent looking when she runs full bore across the fairways and greens like that.
Anyway... the geese run as fast as their webby toes can carry them and into the water they go. Then into the water Delta goes.
HONK HONK HONK.
You can hear it all over the course.
I stop the cart and jump out running up and down the bank keeping an eye on Delta and giving her encouragement. "Get 'em outa here Del! Get 'em out! Good girl!"
She is swimming like a fiend... but swimming like a dog fiend. Her feet are not as webbed as theirs. She has the Lab swimming instinct from her bio-dad ;) but from her bio-mom she has the German Shepherd ... 'must eat must eat' instinct.
The parents swim in the opposite direction of the babies... and the babies DIVE DIVE DIVE. They disappear and Delta swims right passed them. Behind her they pop up... boink boink boink.. but she does not see them as she is focused on the parents. Who says prey are not smart? They were totally messing with her. The parents continue to swim slowly just out of her reach leading her astray. Behind her the babies then gather back together and swim to the side and hide under grass.
When the parents feel like they are far enough away they take to the air and head back to the babies. Delta turns in her path... swimming upstream now and making really no headway at all. She will never catch them. Water is their domain... as is of course the air for the parents. She really can not compete very well with that. This goes on for ages and then I pull her out.. literally and we head towards another batch down by another hole. And the same thing happens all over again.
We are just trying to be rude hosts really. They can go live somewhere else.
Delta runs down the banks looking for more geese and.. "oh wait! Look! A squirrel! I like squirrels too I ate a squirrel once I bet I can climb this tree watch me..." She has a touch of OCD I guess.
But she sure is pretty.
Back to the geese. This goes on until I get tired and I think it might be too much for her and it is not necessarily a scene golfers want to hear. Honking and yelling and splashing might prove too much of a distraction.
So I then take her back and we hang around a bit until David needs help with something else. I am not needed in the clubhouse yet, so today I drive a little Daihatsu dump thing full of gravel for him to shovel. "We" are filling the holes in the cart path.
Look what pretty flowers and pretty trees! Oh that one has purple flowers and is called either an elephant ear tree or an empress tree. Someone else gets distracted easily too. Hmph.
Oh yeah... there is David shoveling again.
Then after the mowing is done David has been learning how to fix the machines he has driven all morning.
At the end of the day we have supper and fall asleep at like 8 only to wake up and do it all again.
